drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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