No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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