I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
