ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
the raccoons are back...
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