i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
