Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So much rum. So many feels.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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