So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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