Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
