I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just high enough for therapy.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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