I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
