since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So many bounce houses so little time
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize