dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
North Korea, Best Korea!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
