i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize