paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
