Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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