I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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