idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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