So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Operation Purity has been aborted
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
