no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
