yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it glows. i had to have it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize