They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
