I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
