Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
