We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
