Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
