Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
