lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
