Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
