good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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