whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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