it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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