beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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