Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
