On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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