Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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