the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
