Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
