If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
