Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
