sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ladies don't puke and tell
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
