I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
