I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
