You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
