I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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