I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
