your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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