Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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