Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
