Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
