Define "chronic" masturbator.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
