everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
