He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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