There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
