you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
