I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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